Recent Thoughts on Life

It's been awhile since I've written anything, I stare at a blank screen wondering what to say, what to provide during the winter months. I'm not a crazy winter hiker, for a long time I was trying to keep up with the hiking jones's, trying to stay relevant and keep you interested. Truth is I'm not into snowy hikes as much as I am passionate about spring and summer hiking.

I've felt a creative block for awhile but I want my loyal readers to know I'm still here, wanting to share many beautiful memories and places with you in the future. Between being a mother, trying to build up a business and having a personal life - it's just not been a priority.

I'm beginning to realize life is so much better off screen, I've made more personal connections since being off social media than I ever felt being online. People are getting to know me in real life versus on a screen. It's humbling to know that, to feel that.

I could write a book on how becoming an influencer sucks the soul out of you, although many good things came from it, I really felt disconnected than I ever did at the end. Falling off the face of the online world not only helped my family life but also people wanting to know me in real life. I think we can easily get caught up into thinking the comments, the likes etc is support. When in reality you try to make new friends and ask people to hang out and it always falls through.

I was tired of all the pressure, it all of a sudden felt like I had to post all the time to make you happy and if I didn't share what I was doing - people would complain. If I didn't share where I went and tell you the location, people weren't happy. If I did share, people wouldn't be happy.

The moment I stopped caring, the more control I got over my own life. I'm not saying all social media is bad, I was an influencer for many years, there is so many amazing opportunities & connections I made because of it. I will still write my blog and continue to pursue and be passionate about my website & vlogs.

The moment I went more low-key is the moment I found out who reached out and who didn't. Which really shocked me as a few of them I thought were close friends. However in that process I have made new ones and the future is feeling more bright. I have been searching for people who understand me for a very long time. Not just people who want to see me hike and do crazy shit - but people who want to get to know me. Puts a lot into perspective for me. No amount of likes or comments could compete with that.

I didn't want the drama anymore, I didn't want anyone to talk anymore. I wanted it to stop for my head to be quiet. Hiking shouldn't be clicky but it is - a constant competition or what you're doing wrong. I just want to go into the mountains and be - I want to focus my thoughts into more positive ones.

Hiking shouldn't be a status, it's a state of mind. A way of life. I never want this to feel like a job - that's when this becomes not fun for me anymore. I do not need to prove I have a life, or feel like I have this crazy lifestyle 24-7. I'm just a mom trying to figure this all out. The winter is for the most part where I spend most of my time inside. It's where I've struggled in the past to continue to feel relevant or felt I wasn't doing enough compared to the other influencers. Truth is I can't keep up to that. This is what you get instead, real and raw.

I'm waiting for spring, where the days get longer and warmer. It's when I come alive again. Where I can't stop writing and where I feel the most inspired.

I miss you all and I will never stop thanking you for always being loyal to me even when I become quiet. I have a grand adventure planned, one that I'm counting down the days until I'm captivated by trees, blue skies and feeling the warmth of mother natures natural baths. Until then happy trails and I'll write to you soon.

Alyssa